Before I can stick entirely with envisioning the Bible world, I should expand in one more blog about my hard-earned life lessons (continuing from my first blog). I was 12 when I decided to write books eventually, and 15 when I decided it had to be Biblical fiction. But I was about 13 when I discovered a correspondence course on how to become a freelance writer.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life (Prov. 13:12)”
Being such a serious and hurting kid, I became very disciplined. I saved my allowance and spent all my extra time reading, expanding my vocabulary, and learning to write through whatever means I could find. But up until I found out about this course, I had little hope to go on. This was very hard on me, but it changed dramatically when I found out about the course.
I went to my dad with bated breath, hoping he would pay for it. He kindly said, “How about if you wait for 2 years, and if you still want to take the course, then I’ll buy it for you.” That was all I needed.
…you don’t know how much I must be that way to survive
2 years later I had finished saving my $1 weekly allowance to buy an electric typewriter and asked him again. He laughed and said, “Heather, you’re just like a bulldog. When you get your teeth into something you just won’t let go.” Well I agree now that’s kind of funny, and at the time I did outwardly laugh.
I wasn’t going to guilt-trip either of my parents for my misery when it seemed they were so helpless to change what made me miserable. Looking back, I know I should’ve talked to them more about it. But at the time it seemed pointless. So I just walked away thinking, “You don’t know how much I must be that way to survive.”
…why the “dominos” kept falling…as I mentioned in my introduction
I explained in my first blog about myself that I had an “acceptable image” I always had to measure up to. That included “being macho” like the Fonz in Happy Days. When I mastered appearing and even feeling “not interested” in guys (other than just being friends), I probably at first seemed to them like I was more of a challenge. But when guys would watch me from across the room—perhaps it was just their test to see how I’d respond—this turned into my pressure cooker. My dishonesty with myself made guys seem to be more and more like they were all out to burn me.
This was why the “dominos” kept falling, as I mentioned in my introduction. I’d get my hopes up about one guy after another, but then couldn’t take the pressure thinking he’d also burn me. I married when I was 27 because it was the only way I knew out of always feeling noticed but never being able to trust guys. I married a guy I convinced myself I loved, but looking back, he was just “OK.”
In the face of infectious lies, salt offers to heal the open wound, despite the sting
After my marriage fell apart and another individual deceived me a lot, I had to face all my self-inflicted, and others’ inflicted pain. I could only recognize in stages how I was my own worst enemy, and how others I trusted were. My true healing took over 12 years. With such a backlog of pain to face, you can’t imagine how hard that was.
Salt is so much like the truth. In the face of infectious lies, salt offers to heal the open wound, despite the sting. You surely know that the Dead Sea is salty. Consider what Jesus said, “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet,” Matthew 5:13. Yet did you ever consider their lack of salt refineries like we have today?
Our Christian archaeologist, Dr. Jim Fleming, picked up a grey chunk of dirt beside the Dead Sea water and said even it would taste quite salty. In Bible times the Jews would obtain these chunks of dirt and call it “salt.” They’d pick away at it because mostly it did taste salty. But eventually, they would find more dirt in it than salt. So now it has “lost its saltiness” and “is no more good.”
Do you cling to truth and accuracy no matter how much it hurts?
The above pictures were free stock photos available online.